Nice new post title eh after so long. Hahahahaha your semi-schizo is back to fuck u readers up(and myself as well). What new? Nothin. Same old? Not really. Well, i've no idea. Be my guess to judge me, for thy shall heed no man's judgement. Ok, maybe I'll bow down to the opposing sex, but hey, at least they're appealing. Wait. I'm starting to wanderoff again. Fuck.
At last, after so long, i'd finally gotten myself some break; from school, from the city, from the stupid community that i live with, and yeah, from my own friends. Dang I need my bloody space back. As you can see, i'd been off this site for like more than 6 months. And let me tell you, after that long of not expressing self crapiness and the never-ending ideas of idiocracy for so long, it ain't a very pretty sight. In other words, I had almost lost my mind while trying trying to keep it together. Not to mention with all those utterly alien voices in my head. No, not alien voices, but familiar voices that sound so alien. It's as if I'm in some Stephen King's horror alien movie or what shit. Or maybe all this is just me. NAH, that can't be it.
People, on the other hand, they never fail to amuse me from ALL sorts of angle they POSSIBLY could. I might sound delusionally over-reacting at the moment, but there are worser things that this. Living in a community is a pain, fun or even bizarring from time to time. The point you can share anything with the commune is great; the fact that you almost can't hide anything from them is unnervingly annoying. You can never show who you really are in a community where YOU are the minority; or in other words the freak or even outcast. Logically, "Just be who you are" should work just fine, but apparently not on all occasions. Such as the case of mine. Revealing oneself at the wrong place only invites imminent danger and unwanted attention. Probably, if not of those from peer friends or the faculty, but rather from those of parents. Parents, no matter how hard you try to justify your actions to them, will also not falter in their pursuit of justifying their own beliefs unto their children; it's only natural, that they only want what's best for their child.
I, have no wish at all to oppose those of my elders, nor do I have the desire to take up the paths that they once went down. All i wish to be is what i already am, what i will be, and what i want to become. I may have not strong religious faith; I'll always admire for those who does; but with my own faith, I'll always know of what's just and what's not. With my own faith, I'll make judgements, choices, and take paths towards the future that I've always dreamt of. Fuck, now I'm really going all saint-ish all holy-ish. Crap. Gotta stop takin' that shit in the middle of the nite.
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